That big fat-ass cat...well, that's my Spotty...I called her Spot. If you look at her nose closely, you will see she has a grey spot on the right side! Hence the name, Spot!

She's been gone for a few years now and I miss her very much. She was MY kitty...the first one that I ever had as MY cat. Not my Mom's, not my brother's, not my girlfriend's...MY CAT! My little, mild, wonderful kitty that I named Spot. And she and I, well, like Paul Simon said, "Me and Julio down by the schoolyard". We spent very cool times together...I can't really explain but, if you have ever had a friend like that, you will understand.

I miss you, Spot...I know that Toby got in your face often. But I will always remember the day that, as Toby walked by, you just clocked him...no provocation, he wasn't doing anything. And you just whacked him in the face...and I laughed. And I thought to myself...hey, years of being provoked. I still think its funny as all hell today!

I miss you Spot...

And so it is...a stairway. A way up. Up, up and away in my beautiful...ah, screw that. My life stinks right now. But I still smile at people on the street. I still have an optomistic way of looking at life.

I still think that, even as old as I am, I could still have love in my life. I could put my arms around a woman that I find attractive.

I still think that, given the fact that I'm older than dirt, I can still write music that younger people would want to hear.

I still think that, given the fact that I'm almost older than the planet itself, I can make a difference in this world. If nothing else, I can smile at someone today, I can hold a door open for someone today, I can give a word of encouragement to someone today, I can stay sober today.

And if I can't, then I lose. Charlie Sheen, that jackass, keeps saying "Winning! Winning!" Yeah, guess what, Charlie...you're losing. And so am I, if I don't live in the world that My God gave me.

Just a smile. Smile at one person who may need it. Perhaps it will catch on.